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I just wrote quite a long long blog and by magic it disappeared. What a pisser - stupid computers grrrrr

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Its really hard to stay motivated to do this.. unless of course you have friends all over the world and this is the easiest way of keeping each other up to date. I was wondering if its possible to delete an entire blog? Anyway enough of that... I have started writing my farce of a movie with my friend at work - who has gone to kalgoorlie for 3 whole months.. work is gonna be so damn boring without her. I'm hoping that the movie turns out to be as funny as it feels like it is at the moment - no doubt it probably wont come to fruition like a lot of things.. but its fun to dream! Back to uni again and its not too bad, YET! Got a fairly good timetable.... I almost missed a lecture today that was at 10am - yes I know i should have been out of bed a long time before that but i knocked my alarm when it went off and i turned off the snooze! Haha - I only happened to wake up because my housemate got a taxi and i heard her shut the door! It was quite amusing because as I was driving to uni - cos it was too late to catch a bus i went right past the exit on the freeway! Preoccupation is not something that should be practised whilst driving! Nevermind I got there in the end if not a little wet and windblown - but Just in time would you believe? And My promising start to the semester has begun with me already going to the library and studying! I have to go to trainging tonight and the weather outside is not pretty at all... no fair :( However I have to go tonight as I am wagging on friday to go to Billys brother's play - but we havent got tickets yet so I'm wondering if this will actually happen at all...? ALl will be revealed in the next edition of This - my life!

Stuff

I went to visit my grandparents and that was great - however the first day I was there my poor nan - Her sister died. My nan is the youngest of six kids and now there is only her brother left and he lives on the other side of the country with his wife who has alzeimers. My nan and her sis were like best friends they have shared so much giref together watching their 3 sisters die - 2 had dementia - so sad. Aunty Lee died of Cancer - and she was only recently diagnosed - within 2 months - the docs opened her up to find that she was riddled with it. No hope for her unfortunately. Its weird for me because Im pretty sure it has been forever since I stayed at my nans - I wonder if it has been a subconscious thing - I was there when she found out that her eldest son Phil - my uncle had committed suicide 7 years ago. And I seriously wouldnt be surprised if that was the last time I stayed there. Maybe its fate maybe its whatever - maybe I was just supposed to be there to help nan through the hard times again... Who knows?

I'm not sure whether Ive said this before or if its in my profile but I play footy - Aussie Rules football... I used to love it SO much but last year I was the President of the Leage and if anything can steal your love for a game - its doing all the work for the league while a bunch of ingrates whinge and bitch and moan at you for everything that is wrong with the league. Anyway we played yesterday I play for the Piranhas - we used to be the premiers ( we won back to back to back premierships 1999,2000,2001) and we have lost every game this season. We are getting stubby holders made up that say "Once were Premiers" - I think its good that we can laugh about it. I hurt my middle finger of my right hand - and left me tell you that it seriously is not that easy to type and actually do most stuff with and injured middle finger. I dont think its broken but it hurts like hell and is swollen a little - I tried to take photo of it but I dont think the photo gives it justice.

My little sister is moving house today - she has been living with our cousin but they have had one too many falling outs so Bec is moving out by herself. Which is good but sux cause she wants all her shit back - her futon couch/bed - that I use for guests when they stay over - which is quite often living in a house of 4 and she is also taking my fridge. What Am I going to use I hear you say? Its cool we have a big one inside - we got a new one when Dieter moved in. So the fridge bec is taking is the outside drinks fridge so now we have no drinks fridge!! ARGH! We will have to make to do buy not buying as much food i suppose ;) haha

Speaking of dieter its his Birthday today and I have to buy him a present.. he is a lovely guy very fashionable - he has REALLY good taste in clothes - when I first met him I thought he might be gay - but after living with him and picking his brain we all have concluded that he isnt. He just has great taste in clothes - he comes under the banner of Metrosexual. SO I have to get him something cool but inexpensive. Maybe some new boxer shorts - he gets around in them fairly often - also loves to take his shirt off our deet, even when its freakin freezing he will walk around the house with no shirt on.... strange lad.

Alright well I think I have babbled on long enough about pretty mundane stuff.. Ciao til next time

Ahh I feel better now....

A stupid saying or quote - but it makes me laugh almost everytime I read it -
"Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive" So silly yet it makes me laugh.. :)

Anyway finshed now yay - AND I can confidently say I passed every exam - I cant say I did better than pass but a pass is all I need!
I've been inspired by the folks at caliblog to make me a movie - I was also inspired by the great deal I can get on a camera! Yeehah - I love buy now pay later - means I can get whatever I want NOW!! Anyway I've been inspired and I'm looking forward to playing movie maker while I;m on holidays - even if I just get to tape me and my friends being dorks I'm happy! I'm going to visit my grandparents and uncle and aunty on sunday probably til tuesday or wednesday - it should be a nice relaxing time I'm looking forward to at least a little holiday on my holidays - cos thats probably all I'll get with all my moviemaking! Haha Unfortunately I don't really have anything super super exciting to report so I'll make it short... Have a nice day

isnt it funny??

not funny haha but more weird - how that in the last 2 weeks all i have wanted to do was study (and well for the rest of the year I havent really wanted to do that) all of these noisy people surrounding my house come out of the woodworks! Last week the lovely construction people - there is a house being built behind ours - started making lovely grinding noises - REALLY loud - when they have done near to nothing for about 2 months! And today somebody at the front had some sort of mower/whipper snipper/ chainsaw thing making a terrible racket - distracting me from my study. But seriously the content wasnt really holding my interest all that much either... SOmething to do with the kidneys and the secretion and reabsorption of this that and the other. I'm only interested in Sodium because I eat a hell of a lot of salt! (And am curious to find out why I havent died yet from extremely high blood pressure!) Well that part held my interest but who really cares about the rest? I know who does freakin physiologists - if i can just pass I will be quite happy.

THe last few nights I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping -Actually I always have trouble getting to sleep but more so the last few days. I lie awake for ages (Billy however falls straight to sleep - no fair!) thinking about everything I could possibly think of - its like a crazy disjointed movie playing in my head. Now I dont think I am all that stressed about anything - impending exams aside - I dont actually think about the exams when I am trying to get to sleep. So weird I go over some of the days events but mainly things will just pop into my head that I havent thought about for ages... I think its somewhat disturbing. And I wish I could just clear my head and go to sleep...

Almost there....

I feel better right now - knowing that I only have 1 exam left - all be it the hardest of the 4 - I have 72 hours with which to fill my mind with the physiology of body systems. I am excited let me tell you. Feeling much better than i was last night although I do believe that feeling of dread may well return on thursday evening - when I am at work serving a zillion customers! My boss rang me today after my exam - which would have actually beeen during my exam had I not left so early - to ask me to work all day - wednesday I said uh NO! I used to love my boss up until 2 weeks ago - when she wrote me a note that absolutely floored me. Now no doubt if anyone is actually reading this you may think hey what she said is true but I was so upset (I am a wee bit on the sensitive side - and for some reason I just cant hack being told off by anyone other than my parents) Anyway the note said that she had never met anyone that is sick and grumpy and tired so often ( FYI I have had maybe 6 days off in an entire year and 3 months - and at least 2 of those have been for exams) and that she is sick too - sick of my complaining! I had to read this not in front of her by the way. You know it probably doesnt sound that bad but she used to rant and rave about how fantastic I was always willing to do whatever whenever and now my the tables have turned. So basically the story is that I dont wish to be that social and jovial with her anymore - I dont want to know anything about her life and she's not to know anything about mine either. And all of this a night before my first exam - and I cried at work! How embarrassing - I didnt let her see though. I know that I'm being like a petulant child or something but she says I do it all the time?? Well then she's had a freakin year to tell me about it hasnt she??!! Ok I had better stop.

I tried on the bridesmaid dress - its perty darn nice I'm quite pleased to say that I even fit into the size 10 as well... I wish all clothes came in this particular label's sizing cos then everything I own would be a size 10 or less. Yay~ Anyway its quite exciting the bride has picked her dress and shoes and head piece, we all have our dresses and shoes sorted - all that has to happen now is the venue for the wedding and reception + dj + photographer... oh yeh and the catering and bouquets etc etc! I bet the bride is having so much fun :) She's actually quite happy I think - I did see her today - its a pity she lives 3 hours away. Ok off to do more study!

aaargh

the feeling of well-being has left me - I was feeling so cofident not that long ago and now nothing but dread. I feel a little bit sick at the moment - freakin out in a rather large way as I havent studied one little bit for the exam 2moro and I'm suddenly come the the realisation that I have to rote learn at least 18 lectures by 2pm 2moro! Freakin heck i dont like exams for easy units that are worth what yes 80% of the entire unit !@#$%

Easy units confuse you well actually lull u into a feeling of well 'I know this crap its all common sense' - but when forced to regurgitate it to interestingly written questions - it all goes pair shaped. Ok I had better get back to it - the good thing about 2moro is that i get to try on a couple of dresses because I am going to be a bridesmaid in October! aargh

WHAT me worry??

Last night I dreamt I was in a Blender! Yes thats right a blender - but somehow I was impervious to being hurt by being surrounded by some kevlar type material - it was rather weird. A few nights before this I dreamt I was pregnant - which is literally impossible at this point in time. I got told today that it doesnt really have anything to do with pregnancy as such - just maybe new beginnings. Incredibly weird dreams - I think I may be stressed or something...Nah! So the exam went well - or as well as it could considering there were about 2 or 3 questions worth about 20 marks altogether that I had absolutely no idea what the answers were - DAMN you tennis theory! SO I made shit up - it was quite fun actually. I like exams - well sorta - I dont get as stressed as most people because I'm a veteran now - done a fair few anyway. Today I get to dress up as Jake Blues from the Blues Brothers - its great when you dont have to be yourself! Dressing up rocks! If only I could get away with it in every day life. Singing is another thing I love - if only I could sing better my dreams of being a pop star could become reality! I've decided that this blog thing is really cool - cos I've always wanted to write and a few years ago the chronicles of my life would have been very interesting - lots of drama but now alas it is all fairly boring what with study and practically married life - it does get a bit dull... However I am not complaining one bit because the days of yesteryear were full of quite a lot of angst and well who REALLY wants angst I ask you?

Share house living is a thing I've done for 5 years now - I've moved 5 times also. Not that long ago I was seriously considering moving out and living on my own - but things changed I got hard and told the one person in the house that they needed to pull their socks up! Well it got better and she kind of pulled her socks up but the socks are kind of drooping now down towards the ankles so to speak. I have a tolerance level that seems to get higher and higher until a point every 3 months or so when I reach boiling point and want to kill everyone - even the nice people who do stuff! Argh~ At the moment its in the mid range so its all ok - every one can relax! I don't however actually think I could live by myself as I would scare too easily - coming home to an empty unit at night would not be all that fun - my active imagination (which by the way only seems to think of bad bad things - like after I have held my little baby cousins or something I have scary dreams about dropping them or tripping over and landing on them) would work overtime - I'm not really scared of the dark but if its dark sometimes I go outside to go downstairs and there's no light switch til I actually reach the bottom - my brain goes crazy - my heart beats faster and I get scared that someone anyone could be down there. This could have something to do with the HUGE block of flats we live next to with a whole bunch of hmmm colourful sorts living there. One time I could hear a guy crying out for help and well I went outside and it seriously sounded like it was coming from beneath ouur verandah - so of course I ran back inside - turns out that he was next door onthe 3rd story - hed somehow broken his leg trying to climb into his window! And his cries were so loud that they carried all the way to my ears! Another time a crazy lady threw herself onto the bonnet of my flatmates car as she was going out the driveway - she was screaming HELP ME HELP ME HE'S GOING TO KILL ME!! I could hear the screaming from inside the house and ran up the driveway to find a whole bunch of people trying to calm this chick down - turns out that both the guy and the girl had met each other at a mental institution - Oh what a love story! Anyway - I dont want to live in those flats surrounded by a bunch crazies or worse scaries!